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Sharing is Caring

Have you been in a situation where the following thoughts have occurred in your mind?

  • I am suffocating. I am not able to talk about my feelings or problems to anyone.
  • Nobody understands me.
  • People might get hurt if I talk about my feelings
  • Why do I even exist?
  • Thinking about myself makes me selfish.
  • Why is positive thinking not working?
  • Everyone seems to function fine but only I have problems. I guess I am not strong enough to handle this.

All of us have been through similar situations in our lifetime. It is that phase where we are stuck and nothing is happening. The negative thought cycle is not ending whereas the positive thinking philosophy is not working.

If you could share your feelings with your friends or loved ones, that would be great. But if you are afraid of being judged or misunderstood, then it becomes difficult to share. In such cases, the best thing you can do, is to seek professional help before it gets worse. Sharing your thoughts and feelings is the first step towards finding a solution.

Sharing your thoughts and emotion has utmost importance in maintaining psychological health.

We need to understand that everybody is different, so everyone has different capacity to handle situations in their life. If something is bothering you, it is really important to ask for help.

By sharing your thoughts, you are exhibiting following qualities unknowingly.

  1. Self-Love: You have decided that you are important. You care for yourself.
  2. Self Esteem: You value yourself more than the problem.
  3. Pro activity: You have recognised the problem. You are taking efforts to find the solution.

Talking to a counsellor provides helps you enter the atmosphere of trust, warmth, empathy and Respect. You feel comfortable to share.

There are various support groups which will give you encouragement and provides you a place to share your problems with everyone.

Just by sharing your thoughts and emotion, you will perceive some immediate effects. Such as-  

  1. You voice your thoughts. You experience relief as you communicate your feelings with others.
  2. The intensity of your negative thoughts is diluted.
  3. Your thoughts get organized.
  4. You understand that you are not alone in this kind of situation.

There is a beautiful quote by OSHO on emptiness.

“The usefulness of the cup is its emptiness.”

 Unless you empty your negative feelings, how can you fill yourself with positive ones? So, what are you waiting for?

Let’s Share, Let’s Care!!

To Be Or Not To Be

Most of us know this famous quote by Shakespeare. His character in Hamlet utters these words of despair and hopelessness. Shakespeare was well aware of the psyche of people and the burning questions that come to their minds.

Shakespeare has influenced the world in many ways. He was a profound personality. Many of you must have read his plays, poems. But why we are discussing it today?

This thought still crosses many people’s mind in the midst of difficult situations.

Today is 10th Oct – World Mental Health Day. This is an opportunity to raise awareness of Mental Health Issues. This year’s theme is Suicide prevention. Almost 8,00,000 people take their own life and many more attempt suicide.

There are various reasons for suicide. Some of them are:

  1. Failure in exam
  2. Failure in relationship
  3. Abuse
  4. Mistakes made by them
  5. Feeling worthless
  6. Feeling depressed
  7. Uncontrollable circumstances
  8. Illness
  9. Stress…….

This list is endless. But what can we do about it?

The first thing that we need to understand that the person is going through a lot of turmoil. Life seems totally messy and death seems  the closure to all problems. Those who want to help in this mission, prepare yourself for helping the people around you. Following are some pointers which will help you help others:

  • Observe and listen: Suicidal people give warnings directly or indirectly to people around them. Observe the people around you. Listen to them and what they are saying and implying. This will only happen if you will be present fully and not distracted.
  • Give Hope: Always give hope to people facing problems. There are so many negative people around us. You don’t need to be one of them.
  • Show Empathy: Showing empathy is one of the greatest ways to show you care.
  • Acceptance:  Suicide is not mental illness as such but mentally ill people are prone to it. Our social acceptance of mental illness can reduce this.
  • Addiction: Alcohol or other addiction can aggravate urge to end the life. Stay away from addiction. Keep an eye on people whose drinking habits have increased drastically.
  • Communication: If you are a parent, always keep open communication with your kids. Discuss your failures with them too, not just  your successes. They need to know  that its OK to fail and that it is not the  end of the world.

Those who are going through difficult times, remember the following things:

  • You are not alone. Although you think you are, there are so many people who would love to help you. Calling for help is not  a weakness. Find a support group to discuss your problem with.
  • Situations are not life. Life is much a larger phenomenon than difficult situation. There are many good things waiting for you. Just be patient with yourself. Believe me, you will thank yourself for that later.
  • Failure in one area of your life doesn’t mean you are failure. It just means that you need to try different method to achieve success. Many successful people talk about their failure proudly.
  • Instead of focussing on your problem, write down your problem and focus your brain on a possible solution. Whatever you give attention to, grows.
  • My FB friend (Kanchan Dixit, NLP practitioner) has an amazing tip about how to deal when feeling worthless. She says to always keep track of good things (however small) about you. Your first prize,  a kind word from someone,  your small achievements,  etc. Whenever you feel bad about yourself, read those. They will lift your mood and make you ready to face challenges.  Develop your support system by yourself.
  • Relax your mind. Most of the answers comes when you are relaxed.
    • Life is not fair. But still it’s beautiful.
  • The beauty of hitting rock bottom is that there is only one way left UP.
    • So, let’s bounce back.

The Itchy Matter

Psoriasis is a very irritating disease literally and figuratively. Living with it, is very challenging.

Why do you get it? I haven’t found that answer till date. I know that psoriasis is auto immune disease. An autoimmune disease is a condition in which your immune system mistakenly attacks your body. So, one day I woke up with dry itchy patches over my elbow. My scalp was itchy too, but I ignored it for dandruff and continued my routine. Itching was persistent for few days so I decided to visit a skin specialist and was diagnosed with psoriasis. At that time, I didn’t know what it meant. I just thought it was a fancy word for allergy. I started using ointments but within a month my whole body was covered with dry scales.  And my life went upside down. A normal person can never imagine how irritating it is.

After 2 months I started looking for other options like homeopathy and took medicine for around 5 yrs. It got reduced up to 95%. Just small marks on hands, that’s it.  I learned a lot in this journey. It took me few years to understand the basic things but education is very expensive.  I am going to summarise them below.  

Accept: First of all, accept this disease. The longer you dwell on resistance the more you will suffer. By acceptance I mean accepting the fact that it’s going to itch for the next few months. It’s going to drive you crazy. This disease is going to be part of your life for some time. Remember Part, not whole life.

It’s easy to talk but how do you do it?

Sit in a quiet place with a pen and paper. Write down all your fears, pain, anger about psoriasis. Take your time. Once everything is written, we are going to tear that paper. That’s it. Let’s not think about it again. If in the future you feel like thinking about it, tell this to yourself – I thought about everything that day. I am not going to waste my time doing it again. Eventually you will train your mind.

If you have done this, you have won half the battle guys!  You have ended your suffering, now you just need to address the pain

Stigma: Whenever people find anything unusual, their fear response is activated. That’s why many illnesses have stigma attached to it. Since psoriasis shows in form of lesions, people will comment and ask about it.

Develop your strategy how to deal with it. I had categorised people in three categories:

  1. Near and dear ones:  Tell them about the disease, why it happens and it is going to take a while to go.
  2. Curious Ones: Tell them it’s a medical condition and that you are taking treatment. That’s it.
  3. Advice giver: Believe me, they are the worst. They will suggest you very bizarre things. The key here is to hear but not react. Your drama skills should be at work. My reaction would make people think that I am hearing this for the first time and ready to do all it takes. Off course if it would make sense, I would research about it. But mostly it didn’t work. 

The purpose of above 2 points is to save energy for the main part “Healing”.

Healing:  This is an interesting part. All the methods which you are going to apply are going to have “Butterfly effect”.

The butterfly effect serves as a metaphor for life in a chaotic world. Specifically, it suggests that small events can have very large effects.

  • Work on trigger: There are a few conditions/situations in the past which trigger psoriasis.

Most of the time there is a trigger.

E.g. Stress, Relationship problems, Built up anger and so on.

Contact an expert. Share your problem. Talk to a counsellor. They have the tools for a better life.

I was lucky to have 2 people who helped me in this matter.

My Doctor – Dr. R.S. Sonawane who is an expert in psoriasis treatment. He performed dual role that time. He did counselling, listened to all the problems which I was facing and gave medication.

https://www.psoriatreat.net

The second person was Shruti Sugwekar. She gave me tools like self-hypnosis to address the stress in my life. She is my mentor, too.

http://www.soulacehealing.in

I am really grateful for these two people in my life. If you are still confused what Sharing will do in this matter read my blog Sharing is Caring.

  • Meditate: Do you think it is boring? Believe me, disease starts from inside, so it is healed from inside out. Meditation creates a gap between your thinking and reacting. You learn to respond to situation. No stress involved, my friends. You are working for yourself not against yourself.

Remember, ‘Toxic thoughts create toxic chemistry whereas Tonic Thoughts create Tonic Chemistry in your body.’ (Michael Bernard Beckwith, Documentary “Heal”)

  • Exercise: What else is going to replace your stress hormones with feel-good hormones?

Yoga works very well as it’s not just exercise but union of body, mind and soul. Make sure you incorporate pranayama as a part of regime. 

  • Be happy: Do what makes you happy. My psoriasis lesions were drastically reduced during pregnancy.  All the happy hormones reduced stress hormones.

There is an amazing quote from my favourite character, Harvey Spectre,

“Have you ever loved someone so much that you will do anything for them? Yeah well make that someone YOURSELF and do whatever is necessary”. So, what are you waiting for?

Try all these things and let me know what works for you. Suggestions are welcome.  I kept this blog short, but if you need more information you can write to me.